The life and times and trials of a Turbografx hero can at
times be filled with cliffs, impossible jumps, endless mazes, droves of baddies
trying to kill you at every step and even talking trees. One question that always popped up in my head
was: What do these guys and gals eat? Where
do they find this energy (Not Energy) to combat the forces of evil, or to stand
toe to toe with the enemy!? We’ve seen
many cases of the monsters in Turbo classics take to filling their tummies with
hero limbs without any real look of resentment on their part. So when do our heroes take a moment to grab a
bite to eat? When do they recharge
themselves for the next stage?
Are we to assume that when a stage ends the hero on screen
goes off and relaxes for a few days?
Perhaps takes a week off to lick his wounds or bandage up? How does the health bar get partially
(Sometimes fully) regenerated? Does
Richter camp out for the night after vanquishing the evil skeleton monster at
the end of the previous stage? Also,
what kind of food options do you think the inhabitants at Junker HQ in
Snatcher?
Role Playing Games do a better job of explaining things like
this. They often have times where the
hero is hungry or in need of rest/replenishment of HP. So you feed them or take them to an Inn and
the savior of the land gains HP and R&R from your generosity.
After grabbing a handful of HuCards I decided to go on a
deeper quest than just saving the Coryoon Princess or beating up King
Drool. I was going to dive headfirst
into the deeper meaning of our heroes stress levels. Get as close to buying these player 1
characters that day at the spa and warm meal they so deservingly need.
Once I started to jaunt through games like Bonk’s Revenge,
Coryoon, Rondo of Blood, Ys, Rainbow Islands, and a slew of others I noticed
how the main character would continue onward without any hint of complaint or
worry in their eyes regardless of how long I played. The day was to be saved regardless of if they
had a well-balanced breakfast or not. What sets apart the Turbografx and its heroes
from other consoles was the developers were kind enough to take care of their
own. Mario ran around for ages collecting coins, Sonic ran in circles for hours
on end searching for rings. You know
what Bonk had? He had MEAT!!
This hit me like a brick wall! These super heroes weren’t hungry! They were very well fed! The people behind the curtain made sure to
leave a trail of energy filled foods placed periodically throughout every
stage. Bonk ate his meat, cute Coryoon Dragon
ate pineapples, Kunio had sushi and other foods at local eateries to choose
from, Son Son ate peaches, and Rainbow Islands had an assortment of candies and
fruits and deserts and drinks and breakfast items that would keep any video
game character’s tummy full for the length of the game! Even our own Richter Belmont from the most
amazing Castlevania adventure of all time was able to smash down walls for a
plate of meat! While not the most hygienic option for places to get food from, he
made do with what he had, and that’s something man. That’s something.
All of our beloved OBEY cast had a slew of food options at
their disposal and I hardly even noticed it.
Master Higgins isn’t just collecting fruit to extend the game clock, he’s
stuffing his face in order to have all that energy to never… EVER.. stop running! Bonk and his blue and red candy obsession
aside, clearly we see how many of our Turbografx heroes are healthy and
smart. A lot of thought went into their wellbeing
and I applaud the people that developed for PCE and Turbo to make sure that the
main characters were eating right!
With these mysteries finally solved the only question
remains: Where and when do they go to the restroom? Thanks for reading guys! :)
1 comment:
I just can't hold it in any longer. My apologies- I actually used a screen shot of SNES Dracula XX and River City Ransom on the NES....
I'm sorry!! I didn't take the time to search out a meat sprite from Rondo or find a shop to order food in Downtown Nekketsu Monogatari.
:( - Sad face 5000
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